[Originally posted on my Writingscape V1.0, 2/24/2009. After laughing myself into a stupor over it today, I just couldn't help re-posting it.]
Compliments of the Urban Dictionary, where there are many differing types of Dirty, to my utter surprise. I suggest you NOT put these in any of your manuscripts, dear friends, even if you think the genre specifically calls for it. ;) But amongst us peeps, it's all good.
retro-cringe: When you remember, the morning after, something you said, wrote, did, didn't say, etc., the day before.
"I swore undying love to that chick at the party when I got her home. This morning, I'm having retro-cringe, big time..."
twitterrhea: Too many tweets per hour.
Guy Kawasaki had twitterrhea when he posted 18 Tweets in one hour on a Friday afternoon.
prostiboots: Boots that are leather, high-heeled, and thigh high just like ones found on a streetwalker.
"She best take off those prostiboots before someone asks her what she charges!"
Bale-out: When someone's stress level explodes to an epic proportion and a 5-minute f-bomb-laden tirade is unleashed on the unlucky soul who was in the wrong place at the wrong time--much like Christian Bale on the T4 set.
Pam was trying to study for her midterms in the library but the kid across the table kept tapping his pencil to his iPod, making her Bale-out and get suspended from the library for a week.
bedgasm: A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip, or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.
"It was a three hour drive in the middle of the night. I could barely stay awake. When I got home, I climbed under the covers and had a ten-minute bedgasm."
precop: A mutually binding agreement (usually verbal) by and between consenting adults prior to engaging in casual sex. The agreement stipulates that all involved parties are exonerated from emotional attachment, post coital contact, and any promise of future sex. Any and all disputes arising from said contract should be submitted and negotiated through binding arbitration. This agreement must involve a minimum of two individuals, with the maximum number to be determined in practical application.
Q: So, you stud, are you going to call Tina today?
A: No, I believe that would be a violation of our precop.
trusticles: Having the b@lls to trust someone in a difficult situation, when the failure of that trust would result in injury or financial loss.
"I know I got my law degree online, but we're family. Show me you've got some big trusticles and let me defend you in court!"
ex-hole: Your A-hole ex-husband, ex-girlfriend, or just plain ex. A phrase used to refer to that person you used to date that you can't stand.
"Yeah, my ex-hole wants to get back together, but there is no possible way."
crop-dusting: Farting while walking; walking while farting.
I crop-dusted my way down the aisle at the grocery store.
faceboink: Hooking up with someone through a tentative relationship in an online community.
"So are they seeing each other now, or was it just a faceboink?"
textually frustrated: When texting with someone who takes too long to reply, leaving you waiting and disappointed.
"She takes forever! Talking with Sara leaves me textually frustrated!"
screwvenir: Anything that you keep (whether stolen or given to you) from someone's house after you've slept with them.
Laura didn't really like doing it with Chip so much, but she did nab a copy of Time Magazine with Mick Jagger on it from his house as a screwvenir.
sargasm: Deriving far too much satisfaction from glibly berating another with sarcasm.
"Oh, thanks a lot for drinking my last beer! No, it's my fault... if I wanted it for myself, I shouldn't have put it in the fridge!"
"Dude, don't have a sargasm."
driving finger: Your middle finger. Usually refers to the one on the left hand so it can be displayed out the driver's side window to comment on another driver's behavior.
Your driving finger is the loooongest finger.
testosticross: (test-OSS-tih-cross) v. The movie moment when every man in the theater crosses his legs and moans, right after someone's groin has been pummelled onscreen.
"Oh! DUDE! That was the worst testosticross moment EVAR!"
flatuglance: The look that someone gives another person when they pass gas in public.
"Dude, Rachael totally farted today during class, so I flatuglanced her."
courtesy wash: The common practice of men, where after using a public restroom, instead of actually washing their hands, they simply slightly dampen them under the sink and then dry them on the pants or a paper towel. Thus giving the illusion that they did in fact wash their hands.
"She ragged on you about washing your hands? Why didn't you do a courtesy wash?"
critical ass: The stage in fat accumulation when fabric can no longer contain the enormity of one's buttocks.
"Gah, I can't zip up these jeans anymore--I've reached critical ass!"
(Oh, don't mind the naked Anime guy. It's just Bankotsu, one of my favorite villains on InuYasha. He up and got himself killed and woke up in some nether-region where ghosts don't wear clothes. The perfect image for a Talking Dirty post, I'd say. LOL)
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